"And yes that was Gary Oldman, who plays the disapproving magic hater, who will most likely banish someone sexy into the sexy part of the sexy forest, never to be sexied from ever again."
«The Wolf was fast,but he could not run faster than the bullets.The fairy tale was over,and with the life insurance money,Little Red Riding Hood went to the Bahamas». (via L.S.D. - Letras Sin Desperdicio - Boom-Boom,Bang-Bang!)
ReBlog ~ lecto-ergo-sum:
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
Earlier today, I purchased some more books from my local library. One of the titles is The Fairy Tales of Charles Perrault, by Angela Carter. The blurb on the back cover describes the book as a “wryly subversive and exuberant take on Perrault’s classic fairy tales”. The tales that Carter re-tells are “Little Red Riding Hood”; “Bluebeard”; “Puss in Boots”; “The Sleeping Beauty in the Wood”; “The Fairies”; “Cinderella: or, The Little Glass Slipper”; “Ricky with the Tuft”; “Hop o’ my Thumb”; “The Foolish Wishes”; and “Donkey-Skin”. I haven’t read through the book yet, but I’m sure it will be very good.
I decided to record the first one of these, “Little Red Riding Hood”, because it is very short (about two and a half pages) and I had nothing better to do. I dedicate both the recording and this post to my own “Little Red Riding Hood” (she knows who she is *winks*). (Playing time: 5:15). Enjoy!
(Illustration above is by Gustave Doré).
"As soon as Wolf began to feel
That he would like a decent meal,
He went and knocked on Grandma’s door.
When Grandma opened it, she saw
The sharp white teeth, the horrid grin,
And Wolfie said, “May I come in?”
Poor Grandmamma was terrified,
“He’s going to eat me up!” she cried. And she was absolutely right.
He ate her up in one big bite.
But Grandmamma was small and tough,
And Wolfie wailed, “That’s not enough!
I haven’t yet begun to feel
That I have had a decent meal!CC
He ran around the kitchen yelping,
“I’ve got to have a second helping!”
Then added with a frightful leer,
“I’m therefore going to wait right here
Till Little Miss Red Riding Hood
Comes home from walking in the wood.”
He quickly put on Grandma’s clothes,
(Of course he hadn’t eaten those).
He dressed himself in coat and hat.
He put on shoes, and after that
He even brushed and curled his hair,
Then sat himself in Grandma’s chair.
In came the little girl in red.
She stopped. She stared. And then she said, “What great big ears you have, Grandma.”
“All the better to hear you with,” the Wolf replied.
“What great big eyes you have, Grandma.”
said Little Red Riding Hood.
“All the better to see you with,” the Wolf replied. He sat there watching her and smiled.
He thought, I’m going to eat this child.
Compared with her old Grandmamma
She’s going to taste like caviar. Then Little Red Riding Hood said, “But Grandma,
what a lovely great big furry coat you have on.” “That’s wrong!” cried Wolf. “Have you forgot
To tell me what BIG TEETH I’ve got?
Ah well, no matter what you say,
I’m going to eat you anyway.”
The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers.
She whips a pistol from her knickers.
She aims it at the creature’s head
And bang bang bang, she shoots him dead.
A few weeks later, in the wood,
I came across Miss Riding Hood.
But what a change! No cloak of red,
No silly hood upon her head.
She said, “Hello, and do please note
My lovely furry wolfskin coat."
"The modern Little Red Riding Hood, reared on singing commercials, has no objection to being eaten by the wolf."
Marshall McLuhan (via xineann)